Clarity.

So, as it turns out, a lot of you have opinions about serving 2500 desserts at a price of .65 cents each and that makes me LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH.  Last night’s topic lit up Facebook with a number of interesting and astute observations and flooded my email and blog comments with invaluable feedback. I just don’t even know what we would do with you.  (Probably make 2500 slices of pie and nearly kill each other in the process, honestly.)

But without question, the overwhelming response was righteous indignation that Super Big Company would ask for product at a such a low price.  (And if you know anything about me by now, you probably know that Righteous Indignation is one of my favorite emotions, yo.)  Quite a few people asked me if the event was for charity – it isn’t.  It is for an annual company celebration…which sounds like an awesome perk for their employees.  Quite a few people also asked me if the company was local…they are not (which means that getting the 2500 tarts or pie slices or whatever there would require some travel cost).

We’ve decided, based on all your wise and thoughtful input, to respond to the request and offer 2500 of our super cute and super adorable three inch pie tarts to Super Big Company…for their standard retail value of $1.50 each.  Sure, it is around $2,125 more than the party planners allotted for dessert but I’m completely unclear about what sort of dessert can be purchased for .55 to .65 cents each.  Jeanne, Gunnar and I spent a little time discussing today what options exist for dessert at that price point.  I think I’ll include the following as an addendum to our response to Super Big Company:

  1. A standard Twix bar can be purchased at Target online for .89 cents.  So each guest could have 1/3 of a Twix bar.  Seems legit.
  2. M&M’s are currently available at Target online for 22.3 cents an ounce.  So each guest could have two ounces of M&M’s, leaving a few cents for the value of the little plastic cup you would serve them in.  I’m not sure how many M&M’s are in two ounces, but I’m guessing the answer is NOT ENOUGH.
  3. A single Hostess Twinkie is available for 29.7 cents at online.  I guess everyone could have two Twinkies.  The thought of two Twinkies just made my stomach heave.  Also, “Twinkie” is an odd looking word when you type it four more times in one paragraph than you said it in total over the last 15 years.
  4. Three ounces of Jolly Ranchers are available on the open market for 56.9 cents.  I’m not sure, but I think that is ONE Jolly Rancher.
  5. Did you know there is an entire site on the Internet that sells penny candy?  Except none of it costs a penny.  You could serve one ounce of Jordan Almonds for 37.5 cents.  Awesome.

But the point is that we can’t make a completely from scratch, gourmet pie for the price asked.  The Mars company can’t even figure out how to make an entire Twix bar for the price asked.  Somehow, this is soothing information to me.

You all really are just the best.  Thanks for giving us clarity when we need it the most.  When we have a world headquarters and throw a big party, you all are coming and we will have an unlimited dessert budget.